Silent Screams
by Fochi-chan
Summary: "Hey, Shiro?" He called. "What do you think about this one?" He would continue talking with Shiro, even if his hollow couldn't hear him, he would continue no matter what. He held his sketch up towards the mirror, smiling, searching after yellow iris and black sclera. "I like this one better, much more than your former mask"
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Silent Scream

**Word count: **4137

**Warning:** Unstable Ichigo. Character Death.

**Pairing:** Shirosaki x Ichigo.

**Side Pairing:**None

**Summary: **"Hey, Shiro?" He called. "What do you think about this one?" He would continue talking with Shiro, even if his hollow couldn't hear him, he would continue no matter what. He held his sketch up towards the mirror, smiling, searching after yellow iris and black sclera. "I like this one better, much more than your former mask"

**Disclaimer:** I do not own bleach

* * *

A young male sat in front of a mirror. His orange hair was pastel pale as a sign of not having been outside too much, which could also be seen by the paleness of his skin tone. His oak brown eyes stared down blankly, but somehow alert. Dark bags underneath his eyes told the story about his countless sleepless nights.

He was there, but far away.

He drew and drew, not stopping the pencils movement across the paper. His eyes continued to gaze into the mirror, which was in front of him, connected with his closets door. It was as if the reflective glass opened a gate to another world, showing him what his own world could have looked like, filled with excitement with compared to the world he lived in. He sat silently in front of it, an worn A4 sketchbook sitting comfortably in his lap while his favorite mechanical pencil scribbled lines unto the former white page.

His room, which had once been filled with toys, only carried sketchbooks in different sizes, scattered across the room on top of his table, floor and even his chair. Pencils in different colors and variety littered his table, some used till the last, some only having been sharpened once. The male glanced up, a confident stroke leaving his hand before taking a quick look at the paper before gazing up. Every sketchbook was filled to the brim with drawings, along with lose papers. Most only contained drawing of one being, one man. A male so similar to the young orange haired male, you would think he drew himself, but with a wicked grin along with black sclera and yellow iris. The other creatures were humans with different kind of bone masks on their person, humans dressed in mourning kimonos and large creatures with holes through their chest, a full bone mask and suit.

The male glanced at his almost finished sketch, finishing the rough drawing with one last line before he stared into the mirror, hint of a smile on his lips. "Hey, Shiro?" He called softly into the air. No reply was heard, but the male smiled more. "What do you think of this one?" He asked as he help the sketchbook up, turned towards his own reflection. The drawing showed a figured, almost identical with the artist. But whereas he was small and all bone and skin, the male on the paper was trained and slender. Again, no reply was heard, but the male seemed to be satisfied with the reply. "I think so too, the hair is too short" Thin shoulders shrugged before he turned to another page, staring at it. "What should I draw now?" He nodded, but frowned slightly. "Sure, but I kinda wanted to draw you…." He muttered before he began.

He sketched the usual guidelines. A circle for the head, chin added, a strong neck spreading out to form the shoulders. The figures seemed to stand tall, arrogant with widely spread legs, a sword held up and rested on his shoulders, the other hand comfortable fitting in his pockets. Brown eyes glanced up; staring at something only he could see before he turned back to his drawing. A few lines and then the hair was formed, falling lightly across scrunched brows. Cocky grin, a bone mask attached to the side of his head in the form of jaws, jagged line forming teeth. He quickly finished the sketch, lightly shading it before holding it up, showing it to the mirror again.

"I told you to call me Ichigo, not Aibou or Ou" Ichigo scowled he placed the sketchbook on his lap again, closing it softly. Ichigo grinned as he stared into the mirror. "Hey Shiro, tell me about how you became a part of Espada"

"Nii-chan! Dinner is ready" A girl shouted from outside his door, but Ichigo didn't notice, too focused on the silent voice only he could hear. He smiled as he leaned against the mirror, gazing down at the tree covered floor.

"What are you exactly, Shiro?" he asked curiously, placing his hand against the cold surface. He grinned as his question got a response, a pale hand pressing against his own. "Why aren't you like the Adjuchas? Aren't they the same?"

Golden yellow eyes, surrounded by black sclera, looked into his own boring brown eyes, a large grin appearing on his face, revealing perfect rows of perfect white teeth. It was clear that the being was having fun, the mirth dancing coldly in his eyes. The being spoke, white lips forming words which could only be heard by the orange haired male.

"I wish you were real, here, beside me" Ichigo muttered as he leaned against the mirror more, placing his forehead against it and forming mist on the cold surface.

* * *

A young girl with light brown haired walked down the stairs, her gaze lingering on the door she just had walked away from before she turned to her fraternal twin sister, worry stuck to her expression.

"Why does nii-chan not response anymore, Karin-chan?" She asked, her tone light as tears slowly began to form in her eyes. "Does he not like us anymore? Does he not like the dinner?" She continued to ask, her tears trailed down her cheek, followed by more. She began placing the dinner in the plates, hunching in on herself

"There's nothing wrong Yuzu, you make delicious food as always" Karis took one of the plates, smilling to her sister, but knew Yuzu would know what she truly thought. "Let me take his Yuzu, maybe he is just tired again" They both knew that it was a lie. Ichigo had begun distancing himself from them. She half hugged her sister, rubbing her back as Yuzu softly cried against her shoulder, feeling tears well in her own eyes. "We'll work this out, he can't keep himself locked away like that, and then we will ignore him"

Yuzu laughed softly, a weak smile lifting her lips before she pulled back. Gratitude for her sister was clear as daylight in her eyes before she finished preparing everything.

Karin turned back to the stairs and looked toward her older brother's room. Lately, he had been… weird, or more than before. He had at least mingled amongst them, maybe not talking as much as he had used to, his gaze always lingering on every reflective surface, searching after something. He had at least replied when they asked him something, even if it took him a while. But now he never left his room, only when he was in need of new sketchbooks, and even then he bought a whole bunch. Karin had seen the drawings he drew, himself but with demon eyes and a crazy smile.

She remembered when Ichigo used to tell them about his best friend, Shiro, who lived in the mirror.

It didn't take long for her to reach the door, which lead into her brother's room. She stood before it, willing herself not to show weakness before she knocked lightly, hopping above anything that he would react to it.

No response.

The dark haired girl bit her lower lip softly, starring down into the kitchen and took a look at the form of her sister. She gulped before narrowing her eyes, about to open the door when she heard Ichigo say something. Karin stopped, her hand hovering above the doorknob before she leaned against it, pressing her ear against the door.

"Who are you talking about?" said Ichigo, his voice slightly muffled. Karin pressed her ear harder against the door, hoping to catch the answer, but hearing nothing before Ichigo continued talking. "Yuzu? Karin? Who are they? Some new Números you found? Or are they someone from your fracción?"

Karin pulled away from the door and stared at it, wondered about what she had just heard her brother say. He didn't know who they were anymore? So he didn't care after all? The betrayal and hurt burned, far more than she had thought possible. She gripped the doorknob, pushed it open and stared at her brother, what _used _to be her brother, but was nothing more than empty shell now. She wanted to hurt him, shake him and make him _see _them, react and just _being_ there for them.

"Ichi-nii?" She called. He didn't move from his spot in front of the mirror, but just turned to another page in one of his numerous books, his pencil ready and already moving over the page. She couldn't stop herself from scowling. It was time to stop this, before it got too far. Time to end Yuzu's crying and her father's mournful aura. She placed the cooling plate on the floor beside her before she walked toward her brother. The only sounds in the room were Ichigo's scribbling and her silent footsteps.

She was tired of that

Were they not good enough for him, making him turn to some faceless mirror?

"Ichi-nii!" She shouted, but only got a twitch from her older brother before he continued to draw. Her fist clenched as she stared at Ichi-nii, once again wondering where they had gone wrong. Did it have something to do with their mother? But Ichi-nii had sat before the mirror even before that. Karin felt her chest tighten. She wanted to hit her brother, beat him until he woke up from whatever spell he had falled into, and make him look at her. Truly look at her than just the general direction. But she knew a way to make him see her, notice her presence.

Karing felt the cold surface of the mirror break underneath her fist, small shards falling around her and getting stuck to her hand. But it didn't matter as she gripped her hand, wincing at the pain

"Wha…" Ichigo muttered, staring flabbergast at what used to be his mirror but were nothing more than an empty frame now. Karin rubbed her hand, trying to remove the mirrors shards softly. "What…. Shiro…"

A hand suddenly gripped her injured fist, clenching it with a surprising strength. Karin stared up into Ichigo's brown eyes, feeling fear roll in the pit of her stomach.

"What have you done?!" He shouted as he finally stood up, his sketchbook forgotten as it felt to the floor. He was glaring at her, his expression livid and filled with so much and hate, making Karin wish she had never entered his room. A flash of Yuzu's crying face made her stand where she stood, straighten her back and ignore the stabbing pain in her fist. She was scared, yes, more than she had been in a long time. Ichigo was towering over her, eyes wide with bags underneath them, his hair messy and long. She knew she should have been happy, she finally had her brother's attention as she had wanted for so long. But the man standing in front of her ws not her brother, but a strange she never knew.

"Do you know what you have _done_?!" Ichigo continued shouting, grabbing her shoulders and shook her violently, his breath smelling like something had died and rotted in there. "You hit Shiro! Tried to hurt him! Say sorry to him!"

"Ichi-nii! She whimpered, her fist beginning to beat in rhythm with her heartbeat, "It hurts…" She tried to push him away, but it was as if he had sudden gained some strength, not budging as she tried to make him move away with her good hand. "Stop it!" She finally shouted, feeling tears spill from her eyes and race across her cheeks.

Ichigo stared at her for a while, his eyes taking her face in as he saw someone he never had meet before, but somehow remembered. His hands shook before he let go of her, his gaze still lingering on her face before his shook his head, stumbling backwards and sat down at his bed. He leaned forward and placed his head in his hands, staring at the glass shards that covered the floor.

Karin breathed deeply as she stared at him, slowly scrambling backwards, she could feel that she _had to _the room, her eyes having stayed on the hunched form of her brother. She accidentally flipped the plate over, spilling its contents onto the floor. She didn't care, she just needed to run away from Ichi-nii and tent to her wounded hand

She needed to get out, and she couldn't go fast enough.

* * *

"Karin-chan" Yuzu shouted in surprised when her twin sister ran down the stairs, "What happened?" She hurried to her sister and grabbed her hand, staring at the remains of what seemed to be a mirror. "Did you accidentally break the plate? What that what I heard? Ne, Karin-chan!" The sandy blond girl whined as she pulled her sister to the table, pushing the plates away before finding the first aid. She pulled the necessary bandage and disinfection.

"Ahaha…" Karin laughed nervously, winching as Yuzu began pulling the shards out, "nothing happened, so don't worry Yuzu" She clenched her other hand in her lap, trying to stop herself from shaking. "Ichi-nii just surprised me, so I accidentally dropped the plate, nothing else."

Yuzu stopped for a second to gaze into her eyes, making Karin glance away and close her eyes. She didn't like lying to Yuzu, but she didn't want to break her twin sister's view on their brother either. Yuzu obviously didn't believe her, why should she? Karin had said she dropped the plate, but had glass shards stuck to her hand instead of porcelain. But she didn't push the question. Karin would tell her if it was important or not.

* * *

The days slowly continued and Ichigo seemed to have woken up, slowly coming out more and tried to interact with Yuzu and Karin. His father too, but he still didn't feel comfortable with that. His eyes were still blank whenever he looked at them, as if they weren't there, but they didn't complaint. But one thing they all noticed was how his gaze always lingered on every reflective surface, as if he was searching for something before he gave up and continued on, acting as if nothing had happened.

Yuzu began smiling more, her eyes almost sparkling and seemed to return to being the old Yuzu. But she always stuck to Ichigo, wanting to be with him all the time.

But Karin wasn't like that. She had begun to find excuses to leave the room whenever Ichigo entered, sometimes going out of the door, shouting something about soccer practice, or how she suddenly remembered some homework she had to finish. Yuzu always asked her when they went to bed, was someone or something hurting her? why she was avoiding their big brother, now when he finally left his room and talked with them?

"Nii-chan?" Yuzu pulled slightly at the orange haired male's shirt, trying to gain his attention. They were sitting in the living room and had been watching a show about Don Kanonji and how he had saved a lost soul. It had gone well until he had suddenly looked down and stopped moving. Ichigo knew that wasn't true. It had probably been some shinigami. Yuzu stared at the table too but only saw herself. She pulled again on his shirt "Nii-chan!" She finally shouted, tears appearing in her eyes as she felt fear creep up again from her heart. Was she going to lose her big brother again? Was he going to abandon them again to stare at himself?

"What is it,Yuzu? He asked softly as he turned towards her, life slowly returning to his voice. But Yuzu couldn't stop herself from staring into his once lifefilled eyes. They were like a black vortex now, void of anything and sucking every feeling without leaving anything behind. She relaxed slightly as he held her petite hands in his own hands, the eyes returning to a light amber color. "What's the matter, Yuzu? Did you see an hollow?" He asked honestly, his eyes slightly narrowing as he stared out the window, his shoulders tensing.

"Hollow?" She stared at her brother. "What's that?" The word seemed familiar to her, as if she had heard it many times before, but she couldn't remember when and where she had heard it. Hollow meant empty in English, right? But how that had anything to do with now was a puzzle to her.

Ichigo pulled back from her as if he had been shocked, his eyes widening. He leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes, breathing harshly. His eyebrows began to crunch while biting on his lower lip. "It's nothing, Yuzu" He bit out, his hands began shaking. "It's nothing at all." He shook his head, his hand shook harder than before. "It's nothing, it's nothing" he continued to mutter, as if trying to convince himself that it was the truth. As if realizing she still was there he opened his eyes and looked at her. She looked stressed and weary.

"She didn't dare to say anything as she looked away, a lump forming in her throat. Maybe she should try and talk with someone about all this? But what should she say? She didn't know so much about him after he began staying in his room, barely coming out for dinner or when they were going anywhere. He had even stopped going to school and interacting with other human beings.

* * *

He hadn't always had Shiro. He had just felt an unbelievable want to learn how to draw. He had always been a self-taught artist, and so he didn't want to ask other people for help, when he clearly could learn it himself. He was proud of how much he had learned. But he had entered what most people called an art-block, and he hadn't known what to draw without it looking like crap. One day he had just glanced at his mirror before the idea of being his own model had appeared.

He had sat down in front of it and begun drawing.

Drawing after drawing, some only filled with eyes, some with mouths, noses, ears, fingers. He deleted almost every line as soon as it had been made on the paper. His distaste grew with ever crumbled paper he threw over his shoulder. It all looked wrong! Either his eyes were too big, or his nose to small. Or the shading were to flat, hair too rigged.

Everything was wrong!

But Ichigo hadn't wanted to give up. The thought had angered him even more than the pitiful excuse of drawings he had made. As he slowly had gotten better the anger had faded until he one day met Shiro. It hadn't been suddenly, but more like slowly noticing over time that it hadn't been himself he had been staring at, but a paler, much better looking, version of himself.

Shiro had been hate filled, claiming his need to kill the one who he deemed king and not going to stay as the 'horse' forever. Ichigo hadn't immediately understood what he had been talking about in the beginning, but came to the conclusion that the orange haired male was the 'king'. He had been horribly scared of the white being in the mirror. He had told his mother about the horse man in the mirror, but she had only smiled while petting his hair, telling him that _the boogey man did not exist._

Had the white haired boy been the boogeyman?

After that he had been too scared to sleep at night or stare into his mirror, even going as far as covering it with a spare blanket he had had. He wished to hide from Whitey, wished to shut his voice out so he could finally get just one night sleep. But he couldn't and so he stayed awake several nights, every night worse than the one before.

Whitey would talk about all the things he could do to his sisters, to his father and mother. How he could bath in their blood, pull their inner intestines out and hang it around. He would laugh loudly everytime he tried to fall asleep, his voice filled to the brim with malice and shocking him enough so he couldn't sleep again.

Ichigo's parents had at last noticed how tired he had been whenever he walked around, his eyes dropping and almost falling asleep where he stood, only to pull himself up and stare at the nearest reflective surface, a grimace on his face before he had continued. They had taken him with them to the doctor.

His doctor had looked like a nice man with soft fluffy hair and glasses. But Ichigo never opened his mouth and talked.

Masaki and Isshin, his parents, had asked the orange haired boy why he was so silent Around Aizen-sensei. He couldn't lie to his parents, no matter how much he wanted, and told them. Aizen-sensei somehow reminded him of Whitey. The brown-haired man had been smiling all the time, but his eyes had been calculating – different from Shiro, but somehow with the same air, the same aura, as if he knew something about Ichigo he didn't know.

They had been diskusing about it when they had believed he was sleeping? How could he have falled asleep with Whitey in his room? Mentally torturing him like no tomorrow? He had shouted out his name, called himself Shiro when Ichigo accidentally called the white haired boy for whitey. Shiro always threatened him with murder if he should fall asleep, and he hadn't wanted to test the other boy's words. Ichigo's parents believed that he was just misjudging Aizen-sensei. He was, after all, just a _child_ who hadn't been able to sleep, and for that reason he had imagined Shiro.

Masaki and Isshin had later consulted Aizen-sensei, telling the brown haired doctor what their son had told them. Ichigo had ignored it all as he had concentrated on staring at his shoes, feeling like he was watched by Shiro, almost feeling his drilling gaze on his person. He glanced up and caught a glimpse of white. Was Shiro watching him? Scaring him so he wouldn't tell the doctor about his existence? The adults finally stopped talking and Ichigo immediately held his mother's hand as they said their goodbyes. Ichigo caught the man's last word before they were out of the door.

"_Maybe little Ichigo should see, that there is no monster in his mirror"_

They had arrived home, late at night. His father and mother had led him into his room, his father's big hand on his shoulder, offering comfort. _"Let's remove the blanket _" He said as he softly pushed him toward his mirror. _"We're right here." _ He had believed their word and removed the blanket with shaking hands, only to be greeted by Shiro's gored gaze. The white haired boy had immediately grinned. He was real, he was there. He had immediately turned to his parents, but the words died on his tongue as Shiro threatened him yet again. He had to lie to his parents, tell them that 'Whitey' no longer lived in his mirror, that it had all been a part of his imagination.

He had follow the orders and watched his parents walk out with dread in his stomach. But he had willed himself to be strong and sat down in front of the mirror, firing question after question. He had been surprised when Shiro had laughed, no hint of bloodlust in his voice. After that Ichigo had opened up to his white look-a-like, and Shiro had done the same with him. Shiro told him all about what it felt like, being an adjuchas, what his world looked like and how he had found Ichigo.

He had then begun drawing Shiro, drawing small scenes of the bared wastleland that surrounded the reptile-looking boy. He loved it, hearing all the tales and even saw some of the other Hollows, their forms ranging from really tall – they were called Menos Grande – to animal looking like skeletans – Adjuchas. And then there was Shiro's goal – Vasto Lordo. Shiro told him about their strengths, how they had hands like Ichigo and were beings that looked like a mix of Ichigo and Shiro.

After a while Ichigo began telling his younger sisters, Yuzu and Karin, stories about Shiro's tales. How he had once almost gotten eaten by another adjuchas but had tricked him, turning the tables on the bug-like hollow and eaten him instead. He also told them about the three worlds. Soul society had been the first world he told them about. This was where the shinigamies lived. The human world "_our world" _he had told them. And then finally told them about Hueco Mundo, which was where Shiro lived.

They loved his tales, and he loved telling about the world only he had seen with the help from Shiro. He told them about the few times shinigamies had crossed paths with his white-look-alike. What Shiro looked like and how he had gotten hold of his own group of servants, calling them all for _fracción. _

To them, Shiro was only a friend, a guy with a good imagination. Later one they placed him as a fantasy friend, seeing as Ichigo always stared at his mirror when he was 'talking' with the white hollow. But to Ichigo he was far more than just a friend. He was Ichigo's only friend. As time passed he wanted to stay with Shiro more and more than just a few hours a day. With time it lead to Ichigo barely leaving his room and with an almost non-existent appetite.

Masaki and Isshin had tried to pull him away from his mirror after that. They told him to play with the other kids, to have a normal boy's life. But Ichigo didn't want that, he wanted to live a life with Shiro.

* * *

**A/N**

I had written this story a long time ago, and then happened to forget about it. I got this idea when I had had an artblock and then one day thought I should just try and draw myself. I always used about one hour, or more, trying to draw my sister. That was how I got the beginning idea for this story

I will try and update more now, than before. Or at least finish my stories before I go into a hiatus again :D I would be really happy to know what you guys thought about this story :)

~Fochi-chan


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** Silent Scream

**Warning:** Unstable Ichigo. Character Death.

**Pairing:** Shirosaki x Ichigo.

**Side Pairing:**None

**Summary: **"Hey, Shiro?" He called. "What do you think about this one?" He would continue talking with Shiro, even if his hollow couldn't hear him, he would continue no matter what. He held his sketch up towards the mirror, smiling, searching after yellow iris and black sclera. "I like this one better, much more than your former mask"

**Disclaimer:** I do not own bleach

* * *

"Ichigo" Someone called from behind the orange-haired male. Ichigo didn't notice as he continued to help his younger sister, Yuzu, by placing the plates onto the table. Isshin stood behind them and watched their interacting, noting how Yuzu asked all kinds of questions to her older brother, and how long it took Ichigo to answer. She would ask him all kind of stuff, which food did he like? Did he have problems eating tomatoes? She obviously didn't know anything about her brother. How should she know what he liked when he locked himself inside his room and barely touched the food he got than the bare minimum? Isshin blamed himself for everything. He watched Ichigo with wary and tired eyes.

How long had it been since Ichigo had been amongst them, properly, and talked with them normally?

Far too long

Masaki and Isshin had wanted to let him be in the beginning. It was his first imaginary friend, and they usually outgrew them the older they got, but it didn't seem like the care here. They had truly believed so, and had even acted along. Like a first love, it was something special. But the years had passed and he still talked with Shiro while talking less with them. They hadn't known what to do.

They had tried to pull him away from the mirror, bribing him with candy, a new laptop, a trip to the nearby zoo, but he didn't want anything like that as his faze would linger on the mirror.

Isshin had even gone to Aizen-sensei again, who had explained that Ichigo might have a mild case of schizophrenia, but it was nothing life threating. He had some of the signs; feeling followed, other beings talking with him. But it hadn't been enough as Aizen concluded that Ichigo just had a creative mind.

"Ichigo?" Isshin called again before he slowly touched the orange haired male's shoulder, hesitated a bit before he turned around. Ichigo's dull brown eyes were blank, but they registered who he was before the owner of the eyes smiled.

"Father?" Ichigo replied as he held a carrot in his left hand.

Yuzu turned around in surprise and shock, a knife in her hand which she quickly placed on the table. "What's wrong, otou-chan?" She asked, but was ignored as the elder man continued to gaze into Ichigo's eyes.

"What's wrong, otou-san?" Ichigo asked and tilted his head slightly to the head curiously. Shiro liked it when he did so, saying he looked cute, and it had now become a habit. He hadn't expected his father to be home, especially since Isshin hadn't been home since he had left his room and Shiro had disappeared. He felt a pang in his heart, and vowed yet again to find Shiro.

Isshin and Ichigo stood like that for a few seconds. Ichigo hesitated a bit before he placed his hands on his father's biceps. He was unsure whether or not he should hug his father. Would it be too intimate? Should he clap his father's shoulder like Shiro did with some of his arrancar friends? Or a full on hug like Neliel did? Ichigo ended with lightly placing his arms around Isshin middle and just held them there.

"Fa- Goat-face" He corrected himself. He vaguely remembered his nickname to his father. "What's the matter? Why is it when I leave my room everyone is either crying or ignoring me?" He asked. Isshin pulled away and Ichigo happily let his hands fall to his side. He hadn't felt comfortable with the closeness of another male who wasn't Shiro. "Did I do something wrong?"

Isshin sighed. "You had locked yourself in your room for a long time, speaking with yourself and never interacted with your sisters or myself" Isshin's steady gaze was making the orange haired male uneasy, resulting in him turning away. "It was as if you were in a trance, far away from here"

'_But I was just together with Shiro' _was what Ichigo wanted to say, but he knew he would get sent to Aizen-sensei again, so he choose anew what to say. "But I'm here now…" His throat closed down and a 'out of commission' sign was hanged on it. He was here, amongst his family but Shiro wasn't here. Isshin continued to watch Ichigo for a while more before he smiled. The dark haired man clapped Ichigo's shoulder before he turned around, a large grin on his face as he raced into the living room while shouting Yuzu's name. He was probably hungry.

Ichigo took that as his chance to leave the kitchen. He needed to see to Shiro, maybe he had returned.

* * *

"Hey Shiro" Ichigo softly called as he gazed into the mirror. "Are you there?" He tried not to look into his own reflection. He hated the sight of himself. Ichigo was disgusting and not attractive like Shiro. His eyes had the color of dried leaves, skin like the whites of a fish belly and dark markings around his eyes. Shiro had said he looked fine, that Ichigo was beautiful in his eyes. But he couldn't see the beauty in himself, only the hideous beast.

He waited a few seconds before he continued. He would try a few times more before he would leave and try a new mirror. He stared hard as he tried to replace brown eyes with yellow iris, white with black sclera. Fish belly white skin with a clean white alabaster skin color. But it didn't work and he was left with his own image in the polished surface.

"I'll try another mirror… Just come back to me, Shiro" Ichigo placed his forehead against the cold glass as he tried to ignore the tingling feeling behind his eyelids. "I need you…"

Ichigo stared into the mirror before sighing. He kissed it lightly, willing himself to imagine that it was returned by his hollow before he left the bathroom. Ichigo slowly walked into his room and ignored his broken mirror. The glass shards had all been collected and placed in a box. He would never throw it away.

* * *

A month had passed by slowly with no signs of Shiro returning. He missed his pale hollow more than he would ever have believed he would. Shiro had always been a part of his life, ever since he had first meet the adjuchas form belonging to Shiro. Whenever he had been happy or sad he knew Shiro was there, ready to tell him about some story.

Shiro being gone was like losing a part of himself, which had always been there.

Ichigo had tried to act like the perfect big brother and son ever since Karin had broken Shiro's mirror. Karin had slowly opened up to him, but Ichigo knew that she didn't like being around him for some reasons. Yuzu had slowly stopped clinging to him as if he was a priceless porcelain doll, but she still stayed close to him whenever she got the chance.

Even his father had stopped hiding every pointy object around the house. But he had no knowledge about the glass shards Ichigo hid in a box underneath his bed.

Ichigo had searched everywhere in the house or in the city whenever he could just for a glimpse of Shiro, but the arrancar was nowhere to be seen. Almost like a dream which wouldn't return no matter how much he tried to call it back.

Ichigo had returned to school, but he felt… detached from the foreign surroundings. It was too silent and… He didn't know what. But one thing he knew was that he didn't belong here. Ichigo pulled a pair of headphones up from his bag and began listening to some music. It had been a gift from his father, as a "Thank-you-for-getting-out-of-your-room"-gift. Ichigo hadn't liked the gift when he got it, but he thanked heaven now that he could listen to something calming instead of the constant buzz around him.

The people around Ichigo slowly thinned out as they each walked into their next classroom. Ichigo glanced around with no clue as to where he should go. He had gotten a paper from his father with his timetable on and which classes he had. First class was English. Shiro had taught him to read Japanese, seeing as he didn't want to leave his room.

Now he just had to find class 156.

The walk around the halls were quickly over as he finally reached his destination. Ichigo hesitated for a moment before he knocked on the door.

"A moment" was heard before the door opened. The woman, probably the teacher, stood in front of him, her eyes narrowed as she took his form in. "And what can I help you with?" She asked politely, her voice was strict but somehow has the same tone as Harribel, the Tres Espada.

Ichigo said nothing but just handed the paper over to the teacher. He didn't like her for some reason, and he wouldn't hide it. He would be the being at home until he found Shiro, but not at this school. The teacher looked it through before she motioned for him to enter, closing the door afterwards.

"Class, let me introduce you to your new classmate, Kurosaki Ichigo" The teacher walked so she stood in front of the class. Ichigo walked after her and stood beside her, still not knowing what he should be doing.

"_Introduce yourself…"_

Shiro! Ichigo widened his eyes and looked around to see if the hollow was nearby. That was Shiro, he just _knew_ it. But as Ichigo looked over the students he felt saddened over the fact that he couldn't see the Cero Espada.

"I'm Kurosaki Ichigo…" What more could he say? He didn't have that many interests other than…. "I like to draw"

"Alright Kurosaki-kun. You can take a seat in the back near Muguruma. Muguruma-kun, please raise your hand"

A male near the back raised his hand. Ichigo walked towards him and took the empty seat, immediately taking a brand new notebook up and a pencil up. He tried to follow what the teacher was talking about, he truly did. Again, this was nothing new as Shiro had found one of his friends to teach Ichigo everything he would need to know.

His fingers were literally twitching to draw Shiro.

The teacher had her back turned toward them, numbers pouring out of her fingers and onto the blackboard. She wouldn't see, wouldn't notice. He needed to draw Shiro, to remember what he looked like. He glanced into his pencil case and pulled a light blue colored pencil out and started to sketch. A circle, guidelines for the eyes, nose and mouth, the chest, then the waist, legs. He drew and slowly closed off, entering his and Shiro's world.

He could almost hear Shiro.

Ichigo pulled his favorite pencil up from his pencil case and set to line the drawing. Shiro had his back turned towards him, his head tilted to look over his shoulder with a maniac smile and laughing eyes.

"Kurosaki-kun"

Shiro would need to be shade too, but should he color it? Not that there was a lot to color, but it would look good if it had a blue glow to it, as if the moon was illuminating the hollow.

"Hey Kurosaki…!" The guy, Muguruma, called from beside him. Ichigo turned towards him with a questionable tilt to his head with a frown. He didn't like being interrupted while drawing; it made him lose his way of thoughts. "The teacher is calling you" The silver haired male frowned back as he pointed to said teacher.

Mahogany brown eyes glanced up to stared at his teacher. He didn't understand why she had been calling his name. He had done nothing bad; he attended class and hadn't disturbed her or the class.

The teacher sighed before she gestured to the blackboard which was almost filled with math related knowledge and some questions they were working on. "I want you to solve question 6." She was walking towards his seat and handed him the white chalk. He stared at her and couldn't she as to why _he_ should solve it. His father had only told him to attend, nothing more. But he said nothing as he accepted the piece of chalk. He wanted to finish the question as soon as he could so he could continue drawing Shiro. Ichigo tried as much as he could not to draw whenever his siblings or father was at home.

Ichigo walked to the blackboard and stared blankly at the dark blue surface. It looked a lot like Grimmjow's hair when it was wet. Ichigo snickered as he remembered the prank Shiro had pulled on the blue haired Espada,

"Today, Kurosaki-kun"

Ichigo scowled as he turned back to the math question. He was blank; he could remember nothing in that moment but Shiro and what he had seen in his mirror. If only Shiro had been there, he would probably have been able to answer it.

_"…. f(x) =15+6"_

Ichigo glanced up and stared at his teacher. Had she whispered the answer to help him? But it had... sounded a lot like Shiro… But he would gladly accept the answer, no matter if it was right or not. He quickly wrote the answer down, placed the chalk on her table and walked back toward his seat. His classmates were still looking at him, but the pressure slowly lessened as their attentions returned onto their teacher.

"Good, Kurosaki-kun" She took the chalk. "But please stop drawing and follow my lesson" She stared at him to prove her point before she turned back to the blackboard and continued with the lesson.

Ichigo didn't listen to her as he took his mechanical pencil up and continued to draw Shiro. He wouldn't color it, but only give him a blue highlight where the light would reflect off of his white skin. The sound of high heels was heard before his sketchbook was removed from right in front of him. Ichigo blinked once before looking up, his neck giving a loud crack, but he didn't care as he stared at his sketchbook which was held up by his teacher. Was she trying to take Shiro away from him too? Like Karin had done?

_Shiro. Was. His!_

'_Calm down' _Ichigo chanted to himself as he kept his eyes on the image of Shiro. "Hand him… back" He mentally clapped himself on the shoulder. He would try and be calm, but it was so hard to sit still. Truly hard. "Hand him back… now"

But no matter how kindly he asked the hard-haired teacher, whose name he still didn't know, he didn't get the sketchbook back. "You will be able to get this back after the lesson is done, until then you have to follow the lesson" And with that she turned around and casually walked back towards the desk.

It was too much. She had no right taking anything from him, neither Shiro nor his drawings. He stood up so fast the table toppled over and clattered noisily against the blank floor. Ichigo didn't care as he ran up to the teacher and grabbed her middle, taking her down with him. Ichigo tried to grab the sketchbook, not caring that the teacher was trying to push him away or the shocked students around him. He just wanted his sketchbook, nothing else.

She was shouting something right by his hears, her breath ruffling the orange locks there but he heard nothing. Another shout was heard behind him before his arms were grabbed and pulled over his head, successfully locking them there and making Ichigo unable to get away.

"What are you doing, Kurosaki?!" The male holding him shouted as he tightened his arms. Ichigo winched, it felt as if his bones were grinding together. The orange haired male continued to struggle before he slowly stopped. He was worn out and tired, but he wanted what was his back. "You calmed down now?" The ruff voice behind him said, but didn't let go.

Ichigo didn't reply. He watched as a small girl with black haired got close to the teacher, who was out of breath with a light layer of perspiration on her skin. She looked familiar, but Ichigo didn't know from where or why. "Sensei, I think it would be best if we returned the book back to Kurosaki-kun" The dark haired girl then took the book from the teacher, holding it up so Ichigo could see it. "I'll place your sketchbook on the table…" She walked forward, her palms facing up as if she declared herself as weak. Her purple eyes turned to the male behind Ichigo before she placed Ichigo's priced possession on the table.

Ichigo breathed in and out. Relax, relax so whoever held his limbs would let go so he could get his Sketchbook. Relax, so he could get home. Relax so he could search after Shiro again.

Relax.

Finally, after what felt like infinity, he was let go. His legs were wobbly and his hands were shaking, but he didn't care as he carefully placed his drawings in his white backpack with red markings. "I'm leaving now…." He muttered, before he just stuffed the rest of his stuff and left.

He would go mad if he didn't find Shiro soon.

* * *

**A/N**

And so we come to chapter 2 of Silent Scream! :D

I think I'll work on one of my grimmIchi's next. IS there a wish for one of my stories to be updated next? :P


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